I don't know that we know how to grieve. When someone dies we put flowers around them to cover the smell of the body doing what the body does, we put make up on them and hope the smile turns out okay because we don't want to see what death looks like, at the cemetery there's green carpet so that we don't see what graves look like, and if the pain gets to be to much we medicate ourselves- sometimes under a doctor's care or without a doctor's assistance. Some of us grieve openly and others of us grieve in private---but I don;'t know that we're very good at it.
When my father died, I grieved for 30 years, not a good thing and because I didn't have a good grief his death in 1974 still has lingering affects.
I think grieving means coming to grips that things have changed, for the better or for the worse- things have changed. The follow up question could be, So now what? But I think we might ruch into that question. Maybe the first step is to come to grips with, things have changed.
Perhaps another step would be to find our place in this new time in our life. We knew who we were and we had some idea of our place before but know we're in a new place and, "I wonder where I fit or do I even fit?"
Change is the stuff of life. Maybe somewhere in the grief process we can come to grips with the fact of life: things change; things have to change, they always have and always will.
Anger is okay, it can be destructive--I guess it's how we choose to let it control our lives.
In today's world, i think that we are grieving as a society but that's another post for another time. If you're not going through a time of grief, wonderful- embrace it because things usually change when we least expect it. If you find you are in a time of grief, I hope God gives you the grace, and friends, to help work through it- or you can contact me and we can talk.